But what about failure?

My life has been a serious of downs and downs.

Every time I think I have something figured out, I put it in delicate container, place that container up on a high high shelf, then wait… for the inevitable earthquake that is my life to shake it off of the shelf that only existed in my imagination as I stand watching as it shatters to the ground in front of my fragile little Charlie Brown face.

This however is the first year that things have fallen from that shelf and I could actually…breath and laugh.

I could pause and see that I’m gonna be fine, I just need to get a better shelf.

I’ll stop with the metaphors.

I will….shelf them. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA IM GOING CRAZY. JK.

What I mean is this - 2026 has been the first time I trusted that a “failure” is just a course correction. Not years later upon begrudging reflection. But actually trusted God/Universe/Beyonce in that moment.

As creative people/sad people/people of adventure, we will hit failure a lot. More than most.

The only REAL failure is giving up on what you love. (Except for stalkers, you cut that out!) Rejection, rewrites, bad reviews, so called writers block, fuck that. We learn, fix, move on so we can get back to the fun.

Getting back to dating/working out/meditating/reading, whatever the fuck it is, we learn from the pause, then get back to the shit that doesn’t feel fun.

Whatever caused you to stop doing the thing that made you better/confident/happy/content FUCK IT. It doesn’t matter anymore. It happened. It’s done. All that matters now is you throw that story into the trash, light it on fire, find someone to blame the fire on so you don’t get arrested for arson, and get back to work. Trust.

Trust that a course correction is not a complete abandonment of the ship. (Unless you were never meant to be on that path in the first place. Then throw the ship in the trash, light on it on fire etc etc A different essay.)

But what about when you are in this purgatory of creative robbery? How can you pull yourself out of the wallowing long enough to know this too will pass?

Breath.

That’s it. That’s the answer. It’s breath.

Take a fucking breath.

You can’t write when you are depressed? Really? Cause you have no trouble writing those stories in your head about what a piece of shit you are. We are all writing all the time, it’s what we choose to do with that writing that matters. Is it a tragedy or a comedy? Does it go down on paper and bring us joy or does it repeat in our boxer brain driving us insane? You choose.

Meditation has helped. Being able to pause, breath, and not make the sad sack story I am creating as my identity. To see that shitty things happen and not, shitty things happen to me and only me because I am a pile of shit that attracts more shit.

Breath, then move forward, then write/dance/cook/laugh whatever it is.

If you are STUCK and want to work with me 1-1 DM me or email at jamiekilsteinpodcast@gmail.com I’m only taking a few people for June and July before I’m off to Edinburgh Fringe!