You know when you are in a toxic relationship and you’re like, “I should probably get out of this.”
But
1. It’s kind of fun. Like you are always in an action movie trying to figure out which wire will defuse the bomb and which one will blow up the hospital.
And
2. Deep down you don’t think you can do better.
I had a girlfriend who on our first date said, “I get jealous, sometimes over nothing, and occasionally I get violent.”
And I said, “IM IN!” I asked her to move in two months later.
SURE I got a chair thrown at me once, but SHE WAS PRETTY AND THE ONLY WAY I WILL GET A PRETTY GIRL IS IF EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I TAKE A CHAIR SHOT.
It could be our job, our relationship, our health, there is usually some department in our old stink break receiving DOGE budget cuts because we don’t think we are allowed to be happy.
I unblocked part of that this weekend. Going back to standup and playing to THOSE audience was one of the most (trigger warning for Austin word) “healing” things I’ve ever done in my life. I want to thank everyone who came to those shows. Who laughed even when they disagreed or were horrified.
I haven’t felt that way on stage since I was playing for Robin.
And here is the crazy part. I have had GREAT shows in Austin. Some of the best of my life. But I would sabotage or tell myself stories that I couldn’t do the material I REALLY wanted to do. And that’s bullshit.
No matter what part of your life you are blocking right now you just need to FIND your people. They are out there. You shouldn’t fell anxious all the time at your job, with your friends, or partner. You shouldn’t want to die every time you scroll through your social media feed.
You can cut that toxic shit out. Less chairs. More joy.
Thinking about starting a podcast, a daily one, planning on hitting the road more, writing a play, doing it all with people I love. Go do the thing. Sending aloha.
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