I don’t have any solutions.
As a writer, you’re supposed to come in with a hot take and a SOLID solution that would have to be wrestled out of your bleeding hands.
But I don’t have that.
You’re supposed to take a hard stance when writing. Enrage half of the population, hit publish, and sit back awaiting the carnage. Is that good for humanity? Eh, a click is a click, and starting a civil war in the comment section is an excellent way to get returning customers.
This week though, I don’t have a solution, I don’t want rage, I only have a prayer.
I pray that we can start to look at things, anything, everything, not through the eyes of politics, tribes, or selfishness but through the eyes of compassion.
I pray that when we see something on Twitter our first response isn’t outrage or figuring out how it fits into our political narrative.
I pray that we start seeing the best in people instead of automatically assuming the worst.
That’s it, man.
Just some fucking compassion. That’s what this is about.
We all saw what happened to Damar Hamlin. We don’t need to rehash it. It was gutting. We are all still stunned.
There were so many loving people who called for a stop to the game, an investigation, and prayers. His foundation (an incredible toy drive) raised millions of dollars that will help kids for years. Compassion.
And you can donate HERE
On the other side, you had people livid at the idea of their game getting taken away.
“How am I going to ignore my wife and vicariously live through grown men who can actually do pushups if I don’t have my Monday Night Football!”
The idea of taking a beat, of being left with their own thoughts and demons while we made sure a player was still alive was too much for them.
Selfish.
You had people immediately making it about the vaccine or not the vaccine without evidence either way. We see this with mass shootings all the time. Someone will make it about politics before the cops even breach the front door. Well, after Uvalde maybe that’s a bad analogy.
Politics and tribes in the face of tragedy. Not a good look.
How did we get here? Have we always been this way? How do we get more of the first reaction and burn the other two in a fire, place that fire onto a ship, send that ship out to sea, then bomb it again from above?
Does this happen because we have spent years on social media treating politics and culture like a video game? Is it because we are more isolated and depressed than ever? Is it because we dehumanize anyone who votes differently than us or plays on a team we don’t like?
Why isn’t humanity isn’t always the first reaction?
Earlier that day I read an article stating that it would now be a crime to sleep on state-owned land in Missouri. Homeless people can’t sleep on streets, in parks, or underneath bridges and overpasses.
So I guess they just ….. fucking die??
And get this…if you are homeless and are caught you will be fined $750 and face 15 days in jail.
Does the court accept crumpled Mcdonald’s wrappers in lieu of cash?! Cause chances are the HOMELESS PEOPLE don’t have 750 dollars lying around in their sleeping bags.
These two stories seem unrelated unless you are writing a piece called, “Why earth is bad.”
But when I read some of the tweets under the article I saw the same thing.
“This is what happens when we give money to Ukraine.” Wut? Politics.
“Put them in jail! I thought they needed a place to sleep!” Selfishness.
“This is horrible.” Confusion. Compassion. Correct.
You hear this a lot when talking about the homeless. “They just want drugs.” “They are too dangerous to have around just get them out of here.”
Don’t ask don’t tell is the easiest way to deal with the homeless cause then we don’t have to feel bad.
I have been working a lot with the homeless in Austin. Yeah, some just want drugs. It sucks. I am heartbroken every time I offer one food and they say no. They only want cash. They prove the critics right. The worst part, is those are usually the youngest ones.
But in life, you need to take a few more steps from the place you wanted to stop to discover all there is to see.
When I first went downtown the first three homeless men I encountered said they just wanted drugs. Straight up and I felt fucking stupid.
This was my out. This was my rational reason to do the EASY thing and go, “See they just want drugs!”, take my stupid bag of food, and go home. To not have to walk in the rain down to the cold streets where other human beings rest their heads at night. To not have to have awkward conversations with people suffering complete fucking mental breakdowns. To not have to ask myself, “are my problems which I obsess over really even problems at all compared to this shit?!”
That is ego, that is fear, that is laziness. A block later, I started making friends. A block later I saw people so excited for a damn peanut butter sandwich you would have thought I gave them a job. A block later I heard stories of hope. A block later I decided I would have these awkward conversations for the rest of my life.
My working theory on these shitty tweets in both situations isn’t that we are bad people. It’s that we are scared. And sometimes when people are scared, they turn into assholes.
Seeing a football player maybe die before your eyes is scary. Driving down thriving cities to see other humans with makeshift blankets so they don’t freeze to death is scary. Both situations make us feel helpless. We feel like there is literally nothing we can do.
But that’s false. We can show compassion. We can lead by example. If everyone’s first response was always compassion, not only would we have a kinder better world, but it would also lead to more solutions. What if all that time we spend screaming on Twitter, we were out on the streets feeding people? What if used that time to make more money to donate to that toy drive? What if we were paying attention to the people in our actual lives who are struggling? What if we were taking care of our own mental health so we aren’t reacting like a selfish teenagers when someone else is hurting? I truly believe this is possible. I have been working on it myself. Bit by bit. Tweet by tweet. Calling myself out when I feel that old reactionary version of myself wanting to burst out.
But then I breathe. I remember kindness. I say that prayer. And I act.
If you enjoyed this check out my mental health comedy podcast Advice Not Taken w/Jamie Kilstein or subscribe to this newsletter below!
I can see both sides of this. You shouldn't jump down someone's throat about their opinion in the face of a tragedy, but it also seems like the tribalism is necessary to a certain extent in the modern day. There is a considerable group of people that actively try to silence any opinion or factual information that goes against what the "narrative" is. I've been told by a therapist recently that "the truth is inconsequential," which is by far the silliest thing a professional has said to me. The truth is supremely important in almost all cases. The truth of what happened to Damar is important to every young man who is playing football right now, at the very basis of things. The truth of what happened in Uvalde is supremely important, but a group of people are hellbent on us finding out what actually happened. I guess my point is, there are times where you notice these patterns emerging but are being gaslit, so the tribalism kind of comes as a result of that.