Norm: The Sadness and Joy of Comedy.
It was surprising that Norm Macdonald didn’t die hilariously. Something involving “giving chase” or banana cream pies. He could have pulled it off. It’s like he was teleported to us from an old joke book in order to make our lives better.
Instead, he had cancer for 10 years and didn’t tell anyone.
*Boooo! Not funny!*
Knowing comedians he probably just didn’t want to be a bother so he took on the pain himself.
I wrote this piece the day he died but have been sitting on it. I was scared it would look like clickbait, then the first draft was twice as long and VERY MUCH about me (see:insufferable, but I had things to get off my chest). The days in between were going back and forth between being inspired by Norm and just fucking sad.
But then I figured out what it was about.
Comedy is often darker than the those sad documentaries about whales. The genre makes us laugh but behind the scenes…oof.
If I’m being really honest, and I haven’t even shared this with my friends, I was just relieved Norm didn’t kill himself.
When my brother told me he died I was shaking when I clicked on the article. I then uttered the words, “Thank god, he just died of cancer!”
Big phew!
Norm even joked about cancer. He hated the phrase ‘lost a battle with cancer’ and declared that if the person died, the cancer died at the same time. That’s not a loss, it’s a draw.
It doesn’t surprise me that Norm remained fucking hilarious while he was literally dying.
“HOW FUNNY WAS HE?!”
-See Moth Joke
-See Weekend Update that got him fired from SNL
-See jokes he told after getting fired from SNL on SNL
-See book
-See above joke about cancer
Comedians deal with pain through laughter. As a comic, anytime I was asked if I was the class clown I would be shocked.
What?! God no. The class clown was the one who beat the shit out of me and called me gay. The class clown was a hack. The class clown was a dick. The class clown was a prop act. The class clown was loud and forcing his so called funny down our throats. Assault with dumb jokes or quotes from dumber television.
The kids who became comics were often in the back with a notebook dealing with our feelings, cutting class, smoking weed, or crying at home. We were fucking weird. Often not loud which is why we need a mic to be heard.
Comedy comes from pain. I hate admitting this but the times it was the hardest being a comic were either when things were going very well or I was too chickenshit to talk about the fact that my life was falling apart.
Norm was his funniest when his back was against the wall. And when things could have been easy for him, he would take the weirdest path possible, making an easy situation difficult and then slaying it.
He was a maniac. Creative, fast, naturally funny, and just different. But what made him the most special was he didn’t give a fuck. Not in a fake edgy, “I don’t play by the rules sticking my tongue out in my headshot way.” But in a real way. If he believed in a joke and it bombed he didn’t give a fuck.
Sure, he wanted people to like him, we all do. Especially comics. It’s actually quite disgusting. For people who act like we are above it all, we thrive on the approval of strangers more than any of you people. (Please don’t be mad at me.)
He registered failure hard. But when it came to the JOKE, he didn’t care if you liked it. Comedy came first. An evangelist for the punchline. If you told him not to joke about something he would double down and somehow joke harder.
When a comic was canceled he would defend them. When a comic was struggling he would DM them. He cared so much about comedy and comics it’s almost unbelievable.
Norm and I had a relationship via DM (struggling comic here!). There were a couple times I almost went out to open for him before the shows got canceled. It would be easy to sadly wonder what would have happened on the road. What Norm stories I would have collected for my back pocket.
But instead I can look back at the messages. Long-ass messages from the greatest comedian in the world. It’s enough. I probably don’t even deserve those.
I have quit comedy so many times I feel like a junky, always telling my friends it will be different this time. It’s what we talked about. Not quitting. Not caving to pressure. Embracing and loving comedy. All things he knew well.
A know a few comics who have messages like that from him. Those screenshots mean more to us than TV credits. Cause they were usually sent to comics who couldn’t get TV time.
“The truly unfunny people who make a living as stand-ups through fraud are the enemy” was how he ended one message to me. Holy shit.
I have massive rants from him about the state of comedy, and what he wanted to do to fix it. He was writing me and others while he was fucking dying of fucking cancer.
That’s what he did. His entire life. Fight and be funny. There were so many times he could have quit. So many bridges he burned. So many people who fucked him over. So many times he fucked himself over but he stayed funny.
So this is what the piece is about. Survival through laughter. Something I have forgotten many times. No matter how bad things get, how dark life becomes, there is always a joke. Sometimes buried. But it’s there, and when you find it, it reminds you that life is still worth living.
It’s why I have kept going. It’s why he kept going while somehow getting funnier and funnier. Like his life depended on it. Like the jokes would keep him alive a little longer. And they did. And now as people discover these jokes for the first time, or go back to rewatch them, they will keep him here forever.