Robin Williams and Back to Comedy.
When Robin Williams died I quit comedy.
For many people who didn’t like me this was a consolation prize for losing one of the best humans earth has ever produced.
“We may have lost Robin, but we also lost Jamie so let’s call it even.”
I was devastated. Robin wasn’t only a friend and mentor, but he was the reason I had most of my success. He was the reason I didn’t quit comedy the thousand of times I wanted to. He’s the reason I wasn’t dead.
And listen, when the person who talked you out of killing yourself kills himself it’s not very reassuring.
(By the way, if you are just wondering if I’m going back to standup and where the dates are and don’t care about this sad journal entry scroll to the bottom.)
I’ve gone back and forth doing standup here in Austin and honestly it’s been great. I’ve got to open for Duncan Trussell, Craig Robinson, Dave Smith, Ryan Long and Luis Gomez. I even got to judge Roast Battle with Matt Rife at Rogans Club.
The crowds here are unreal. But something was missing.
And that something… was CHRIST. (Just kidding.)
I just wasn’t happy. I didn’t feel like I fit in. I’m 42 and if I wasn’t smoking or drinking with everyone I felt like the nerdy 16 year old stealing his moms menthol cigarettes to make people at the party like him.
Side note - no one likes you if you bring menthols to the party.
The longer I’ve been away from standup the more my broken brain started telling itself that the friendship with Robin Williams wasn’t real. That he didn’t like me as much as I thought. I had to dig up an old Time Out London interview he did where he listed me and Joan Rivers as his two favorite comedians.
That’s how bad my imposter syndrome is. I assumed my globally beloved dead friend was mad at me from “heaven.”
I’ve been thinking a lot about Robin recently. I’ve been thinking a lot about why I care so much what other people think while ignoring what I think. I’ve been wondering when the fuck this imposter syndrome is going to go away.
I think the only way to kill a monster like that is to expose it.
So I’m going on tour. It’s starting here in the states with my friend Tim Ross who has his own crazy story about leaving standup then coming back.
We are gonna do some stage time together then each do probably a 40 minute co-headline set. Tickets are up for The Addison and Houston Improv but there is a lot more to come.
Then I’m going to LA to work with my old friend Paul Provenza on a one man show with the goal to take it around the world and back to Fringe next year. I have a lot to talk about. A lot i’ve learned. A lot I think can help people. A lot I don’t think is getting talked about. I also think it’s the funniest shit I’ve ever written. But I guess we will find out soon.
Even when I was successful I was afraid of saying my dreams out loud, I would self sabotage. I couldn’t even take a compliment.
So here we go. I’m back doing standup. I’ve excepted that’s who I am. I am going to work this material in clubs. Then take it overseas. Then I’m going to keep going and this shit doesn’t stop till there is a Netflix special and I sell out Radio City Music Hall.
I have a long way to go, and I don’t want to get on TikTok or start another podcast. I just want to do the work and be a comic. I know I can do it. And if not, then I die trying and can ask Robin if he really liked me as much as I remember. (JK).
Love you guys, see ya out on the road.
So awesome! I’ll be following along! 🩷🩷🩷
Awesome!